Just returned from breakfast.

Customer service here is second to none. I was attended to by about three smiling waitresses, all dressed in the uniform of tight orange jacket and black pants (!) looking like they'd just stepped off the Star Trek set, and all wearing earpieces. My mind wandered to picture some form of master control room where a large master waiter sat looking at 20 TV screens and ordering waitresses around remotely - "Code red table 7, more butter urgently required," "Come on Carol, step lively now, table 13 appear to need more passion fruit" - which amused me for 5 minutes or so.

Then I got to thinking about the western names they all choose, so I stopped Carol and Gail in their tracks (leading to squeals of annoyance in their ears, no doubt, from the master waiter whose dastardly serving orders had been frustrated by this western interloper) and asked them how they chose their western names. Their Chinese names couldn't be that hard to pronounce, I said? Well, apparently they are, as I have no idea what they said their real names are, so it's a jolly good thing they have the western ones.

Apparently each child is different, some choosing a western name in kindergarten and other waiting until their early 20s, depending on how much they think they will be around western people. They choose names that sound like their own names in Chinese, hence in this hotel there is a bellboy called "Reebok" and a chef called "Calf," as well as a waitress called "Dephanie." I kid you not. Many of the others get their names from a specified English names book which must have been written by an eager old dame in the 1930s called Fanny or somesuch, as it seems to contain Edwardian names like Wendy, Gail, Beryl, Winifred and other delights.

I suppose I can understand why they do it (I really had trouble pronouncing the Chinese names) but I feel a bit sad about it in some ways as we should be better at speaking their language.

Oh, better go, we're about to check out and Reebok is here to pick up my bags.