Steph and I are coming up to our first official Valentine's Day as a couple. We knew each other last year, even talked (I think I was in Kansas City at the time) but we weren't yet one of those smug couples who goes to a restaurant on 14 February to sit like battery hens in an over-crowded restaurant having dinner and staring into each other's eyes lovingly.

Not that we will this year - as we're not together on the day itself, unfortunately. We're going out for dinner in Salt Lake City on Thursday instead, which should be better as it'll be quieter and we will be able to enjoy each other's company more.

Generally I put Valentine's Day in the same bag as Mothering Sunday and Father's Day, although of course Father's Day is complete rubbish and was made up by Hallmark to sell more tacky cards. Mothering Sunday is of course the day when we are supposed to celebrate the Mother Church - and nothing to do with our own earthly mothers at all, but in this age of commercialism that is meaningless too. I suppose what makes me think is that we should always be showing how much we love our mothers, fathers, or those we are dating/to whom we are engaged/married. I know that's idealistic, and we have moments of grumpiness (interestingly, both Steph and I were grumpy at the same time a few days ago, so we just ended the call nicely and got back to our normal selves the next day: problem solved!) but things like that trip Steph made up to Oberlin reminded me that it's not just February 14 when we need to be thinking of each other - and showing each other how we feel. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with my parents and brother. That's something I should work on.

It really gets me when I see people going overboard with extravagent gifts on Valentine's Day as if that makes up for neglect for the rest of the year. I hope I don't sound smug; there are so many ways in which I can be a better fiance I'm sure, but I just hate conforming to social pressure to make a big splash on a prescribed day, like a sheep following the flock. Television is rife with "great valentine's ideas," "how to make the person in YOUR life feel special" and "10 things to show him/her you care this Valentine's Day."

I've got an idea: how about loving someone all year, and making sure they know about it all the time?

Of course, I'm a complete hypocrit as I won't be ignoring valentine's day this year..... but nobody's perfect!