Minnie and Barnum have tons of cool little toys; ball with bells in them, bears with long stringy legs, toy mice that look real for about 5 seconds when you spot them on the floor. Do they play with those? Never!

Wanna know what they choose to play with? Binder clips, paper clips, pieces of random plastic that come out of the boxes of newly purchased items, and the mini jars of cool skin care samples I got at the bridal show yesterday. They bat those items around the floor with complete joy. I am constantly finding random household items underneath furniture.

Lesson 1: Don't waste your money on a cat.

Lesson 2: I am much cooler than Scottie.